Depression, Loss and Grief
Your life is about to get better. If you are reading this page, let’s first celebrate the fact that you are willing to look at some issues that have, perhaps, interfered with your everyday relationships for a long time.
Second, as we work together to discuss your depression and anxiety issues, caring is an essential part of the work we will do. As therapy opens your heart, you will be the first beneficiary, while your friends and family will be the next.
Third, you may ask yourself, “How can I deal with my feelings of fear, loneliness, sadness or worthlessness?” or “How can I generate the kind of life I want to lead?” The guidance provided on this page may be useful to you because these are all treatable conditions.
What you’re feeling cannot be ignored, without adversely affecting the rest of your life.
If you’re feeling overwhelmed or disappointed in your life, you need a skillful therapist who recognizes your inherent strengths and has unconditional, positive regard for you. If your negative feelings are dictating how you live, this might be a good time to consider putting your roots down for several months and talking with a qualified professional relationship expert. Your primary relationship is lifelong, and the most important person who can determine your life is you. Isn’t it time for you to nurture the uniquely loving person that you innately are?
“A crisis is a terrible opportunity to waste.”
– Rahm Emanuel
As a licensed psychotherapist who has been in private practice for over 20 years, I can help you determine the cause of your illness, treat your condition, and guide you to recovery.
Now might be the time to stand up and face depression; if not now, then when?
Depression is often accompanied by loss, grief, worries, sadness, and finding unhappiness where you don’t expect it. Standing up and facing depression over something that happened –– whether it’s recent or years ago –– can only improve your life and your relationships.
Depression and the ability to let go.
Depression is not discriminatory. It spares no one, regardless of age or background. This serious medical condition is marked with feelings of despair, hopelessness, fatigue, a lack of energy, changes in your weight, trouble sleeping, irritability, and sometimes, even thoughts of death or suicide.
The inability to forgive: Learn these five easy steps.
In every situation, make the choice that allows you to respond out of love, rather than out of fear. The Course of Miracles says you can either choose “to be right or to be happy.” Read more.
In her groundbreaking book, Of Death and Dying, Elisabeth Kübler-Ross, M.D., a Swiss-born psychiatrist, outlined the five normal stages of grief:
- Denial –– Dismissing your feelings or the numbness to shield yourself from feelings.
- Anger –– Feeling powerless to change the past.
- Bargaining –– Thinking about what you could do or have done to prevent a loss or a death.
- Depression –– You realize the true extent of your loss.
- Acceptance –– Acceptance over time, which begins the healing process.
Loss and grief is a natural response.
Like depression, grief can be triggered by many things: fear of loneliness, the breakup of a relationship, the loss or death of a loved one or a special pet, your kids leaving home, feelings of betrayal, something someone you trusted said, did or didn’t do for you, moving to a new house, experiencing separation or divorce, or the possibility of losing your job.
Feeling grateful to people who love you.
The grieving process is a normal natural response to loss. In fact, most people experience grief at some point in their life. Some people take weeks or even months to feel or realize their grief… until they can confide in someone. Then and only then, sometimes there is a willingness to feel and ultimately to let go of the sadness. When you’re overcome by grief, and you begin to feel hopeless or helpless, it's time to talk to a trained therapist to deal with the grief, the unrelenting sadness, and depression, as well as to feel grateful for the people who love you and the contributions you may have, even unknowingly, made to the happiness of other people.
How to work with relationships.
We are the source of our love, but we make believe that only when others appreciate and validate us that they are the source of our love. What if you didn’t care if people liked you? Would you choose differently? We often turn to other people to define us. We give them the responsibility to like us, but it is not a person’s job to like us.
How to stop being angry.
Here are more key questions to ask yourself about depression:
- What would it take to not be angry anymore?
- How can you cultivate the joy of being alive?
- How can you learn to live in the question, rather than fixed points of view that can only serve to alienate you from others and yourself?
- How can I learn and be willing to receive everything life has to offer?
- How can I start creating and generating the life I want to lead rather than be defined by other’s expectations?
Take the first step to ending depression.
As an expert in dealing with the affects of depression, I can teach you how to break free from defensive patterns that keep you locked in destructive behavior that does not serve you. I can help you create a positive self-dialog to raise your self esteem and cultivate more loving relationships.
John Gottman, Phd. who has interviewed thousands of couples in relationship, describes how four survival techniques interfere with cultivating a loving relationship:
- stonewalling or giving someone "the silent treatment"
What's positive is that you do have a choice. You can change defensive patterns and beliefs. You
can discover what else is possible. You can take the first step by calling
to discuss how we can work together to generate the kind of life you
want to lead: